I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
