But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Randomize
