he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
