I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
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