What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
