Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
