Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
