Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Randomize
