My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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