I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Randomize
