Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Randomize
