This girl is more easily done than said...
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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