How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
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