I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
