I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
