If that was your dad, he is hot
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
