come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
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