I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
