Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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