You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
