Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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