i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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