My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
