so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
