dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
