I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I didn't notice because vodka
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
