There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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