Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
