hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Randomize
