Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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