i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
