Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
