The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
