i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
