I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
