How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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