worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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