I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
