I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
