At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
