I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
