Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
