if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
