Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
