Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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