I can tuck mytits in my pants
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
