I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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