i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
