nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
i believe in u and ur pee
Randomize
