your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
