why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
