the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
soo... how was my night?
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
